Well, here we are people, on the eve of 2010. I must say that it comes to me as I am fraught with trepidation. Everyone knows I tend to be a little sentimental, and for some reason NYE has always found me an emotional wreck as I try to process all of what has happened over the course of the old year, and try to get a handle on my (sometimes desperate) desires for the outcome of events in the new one. As I reflect on the highs and lows of the past year I am reminded that, at the very core of all of these experiences, it is me, myself, who controls the ups and downs I experience as a result of what has occurred. Difficult as it may be for me, to embrace the idea that I choose how I am affected by the external world, I must acknowledge it to be the ultimate truth. More difficult still is the concept that I have the ability to select my emotional state at any given moment. From the knee-jerk reaction I have when a beautiful woman enters my field of vision, to the concept of love at first sight, I must acknowledge that I am making a series of decisions at incredible speed which lead to my emotional responses.
Most difficult is the understanding of this information and the strange desire to quell it. To disown it. To object and tell myself that I cannot help but remain a complete slave to the ebb and flow of my emotional states. (Although, sometimes it remains a fact) It does appear to be the stumbling block upon which I trip in my attempt to get to that NEXT! level. Sometimes, I KNOW that it's true, but I just don't care to "mess with it". That would be the animal side of me trying to draw a line in the sand over which my intellect isn't supposed to exceed. So, I suppose it's about balance. Some aspects of my emotional condition I should let go. Some aspects I should attempt to control. Choosing which is which, well now, that's the trick isn't it?
When we can teach ourselves to reach out with open arms to whatever the Universe has on it's menu for NEXT!, it is ONLY THEN...that we are truly being OPEN. It is ONLY THEN, that we have relinquished control in our lives and made space IN our lives-FOR our lives, to unfold in front of us as intended. It is exceedingly difficult to do, and the way is fraught with illusion, (both internal and external) but once we achieve this level of commitment to live our lives unfettered by fear, doubt, stress, and negativity, only then are we living in the TRUE PRESENT. MOST of what goes on in our heads and hearts obscures the path we are intended to take because of our need to cling to outcomes. But the reality is, that it IS.....the TRUE PRESENT that is given to us. The present of choice. The present to turn left or right or up or down. The gift of experiencing our life without walking through it wearing a suit of armor. So let GO! Join me in putting your hands over your head like riding a roller-coaster and experience the high of living life without control! Live in the now. Accept the True Present! As my Spiritual mentor Charlie Shultz once told me back in my Air Force Days, "If you cannot make a mistake, you cannot MAKE.....ANYTHING!"
Happy New Year!!!!!
Love Chiron'
Chiron'
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
A-Frayed Knot
“ ...and I think it’s important to remember, in the midst of all of our personal emotional and physical roller-coaster rides life seems to arbitrarily strap us into and send us through that....
Each day we DO have a measure of sanity that we can allow ourselves.
Each day we start, is a day upon which we may, depending on the strength of our Spirit, the strength of our Will, and our commitment to a process, can irrevocably change our lives forever.
Each moment in time is a fulcrum, a balance point upon which our future can teeter this way or that, here to there, up to down, down to up. It’s all in our own hands.
Each day we complete, is another in a series of miniscule lessons which we unconsciously navigate our way through, and what we take with us on that ride is also, entirely up to us. Whether we hold tightly to our belief, to our faith, to the bar, the cover, our addictions or our denial, is also, completely up to us.
Each day we complete is cause for a celebration, because for most, harsh reality is that we live in a concrete jungle, where setbacks lie in wait for the unsuspecting, the unaware, the abusive, (whether that violence be turned inward or out).
Each moment in time is another moment ticking away reminding us of the choices we know in our hearts are the right choices to make, but often the fear to stand up weighs too heavily against the fear of our personal failure.
It is this lack of belief in the self, from which most core pain syndromes appear to be born. The fight is with the self, and it’s relation to the Divine, the Planet, our peers and our loved ones. The unconscious fight is the fight to remember that the fight with the Divine, the Planet, our peers and our loved ones,......is the fight with the Self. We ARE.
When one of us suffers, we all suffer. A chain-reaction of events (usually pain-based) spreads with viral intensity the world over.
Unfortunately, we are addicted to our own self abuse. We have become hardened, and with that we begin to pass pain off to one another like a bunch of kids seeing who can hold their open hand over a flame the longest.
Fortunately, we can do the same thing in pleasure. We have the capacity to try to outdo each other in our ability to be considerate, kind, forgiving, and above all, self-sacrificial.
When the energy has left your hands, and you can know longer hold on to the rope, you have precious little time to sharpen your awareness and understand that you are falling. It is from raw courage and a will to survive that a commitment must be made to grab the rope slipping through your exhausted and burned hands, and to face the inevitable pain that will happen when you close your fists around it. But it is what is required. It can be a test to teach us not to let go in the first place, or , it can be a test to remind us that letting go even for a short time can have painful lasting repercussions. Either way, the choice is our own. We decide what span of the rope we will live on, and we decide how often we will revisit the same stretches of that rope.
We can become intimidated by others who seem to vault up the rope seemingly effortlessly, and we can doubt our own abilities when we see such a display of locomotion. Such concern is an illusion however, because the rope of each of our lives is vastly different, with obstacles of differing sizes and shapes based on the age of the soul. The key is to keep your eyes on your own rope, and trust that others progress simply cannot be measured against your experience, nor should it be. What CAN be measured is how much and how often, we pause in our own progress to assist others in their own struggle to simply hang on.
We are each others Angels and Demons. It is all what we choose to be, how real we choose to make it, how deep or how shallow we decide to be.
We are the eyes and ears of all the spirits of who we are.
So climb. Reach for something higher. Something better. Something brighter....and leave a hand out to catch those around us who have slipped or let go. Leave no-one behind. The souls you catch on your way up ease the fear of making a mistake in your own progress. We are......each others safety net.
Each day we DO have a measure of sanity that we can allow ourselves.
Each day we start, is a day upon which we may, depending on the strength of our Spirit, the strength of our Will, and our commitment to a process, can irrevocably change our lives forever.
Each moment in time is a fulcrum, a balance point upon which our future can teeter this way or that, here to there, up to down, down to up. It’s all in our own hands.
Each day we complete, is another in a series of miniscule lessons which we unconsciously navigate our way through, and what we take with us on that ride is also, entirely up to us. Whether we hold tightly to our belief, to our faith, to the bar, the cover, our addictions or our denial, is also, completely up to us.
Each day we complete is cause for a celebration, because for most, harsh reality is that we live in a concrete jungle, where setbacks lie in wait for the unsuspecting, the unaware, the abusive, (whether that violence be turned inward or out).
Each moment in time is another moment ticking away reminding us of the choices we know in our hearts are the right choices to make, but often the fear to stand up weighs too heavily against the fear of our personal failure.
It is this lack of belief in the self, from which most core pain syndromes appear to be born. The fight is with the self, and it’s relation to the Divine, the Planet, our peers and our loved ones. The unconscious fight is the fight to remember that the fight with the Divine, the Planet, our peers and our loved ones,......is the fight with the Self. We ARE.
When one of us suffers, we all suffer. A chain-reaction of events (usually pain-based) spreads with viral intensity the world over.
Unfortunately, we are addicted to our own self abuse. We have become hardened, and with that we begin to pass pain off to one another like a bunch of kids seeing who can hold their open hand over a flame the longest.
Fortunately, we can do the same thing in pleasure. We have the capacity to try to outdo each other in our ability to be considerate, kind, forgiving, and above all, self-sacrificial.
When the energy has left your hands, and you can know longer hold on to the rope, you have precious little time to sharpen your awareness and understand that you are falling. It is from raw courage and a will to survive that a commitment must be made to grab the rope slipping through your exhausted and burned hands, and to face the inevitable pain that will happen when you close your fists around it. But it is what is required. It can be a test to teach us not to let go in the first place, or , it can be a test to remind us that letting go even for a short time can have painful lasting repercussions. Either way, the choice is our own. We decide what span of the rope we will live on, and we decide how often we will revisit the same stretches of that rope.
We can become intimidated by others who seem to vault up the rope seemingly effortlessly, and we can doubt our own abilities when we see such a display of locomotion. Such concern is an illusion however, because the rope of each of our lives is vastly different, with obstacles of differing sizes and shapes based on the age of the soul. The key is to keep your eyes on your own rope, and trust that others progress simply cannot be measured against your experience, nor should it be. What CAN be measured is how much and how often, we pause in our own progress to assist others in their own struggle to simply hang on.
We are each others Angels and Demons. It is all what we choose to be, how real we choose to make it, how deep or how shallow we decide to be.
We are the eyes and ears of all the spirits of who we are.
So climb. Reach for something higher. Something better. Something brighter....and leave a hand out to catch those around us who have slipped or let go. Leave no-one behind. The souls you catch on your way up ease the fear of making a mistake in your own progress. We are......each others safety net.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
R.I.P.
Feeling Sad around Halloween?
It's perfectly natural to feel sad right before or even during Halloween. Halloween is all about endings.
This portion of your life is at an end. That is what Halloween is really all about.
It is the end of the cycle of transformation into witch (pun intended, sexual in-u-end-oh! a byproduct of intended pun) (lol!) anyway, {how about?} THROUGH witch (the death and decay of the old hag is magically reborn as the young sexy vixen once again....who then fertilizes the seed of the new and cycle begins again.
If you find my reference to sex glaring, that is really because it's pretty much unavoidable here. Harvest and renewal. It is the way of Earth. It is WHY you cannot separate witches from sex, sex from old pagan rituals, and old pagan rituals from Earth's seasons.
We are meant to CELEBRATE death. Death isn't the stopping point, or the bookstop at the end of life, but rather, it marks the TRANSITION between one point in the cycle of transformation...and another. This makes DEATH....a vibrant part of what we experience as LIFE. It doesn't even have to be a physical death. It can mean then end of a way of thinking, or acting, or RE-acting as the case may be. Death represents FREEDOM from that which binds. Look at the imagery. Ghosts dragging chains....etc.
The Grim Reaper with the blade to sever the connection from what once was...allowing the spirit to be released and allowed to progress to something new.
It is symbolic and in line with both animal and vegetable lifeforce life cycles.
So if you find yourself feeling a bit bittersweet about everything right now...
my advice is to GO with it.
If you feel mellon-choly: go carve up a jack-o-lantern.
Write up a list of all that has been bothering you the last year.
(things that you wish to put to rest....as in R.I.P)
Then put that list into Jack and let it burn baby, let it burn. It's kind of like the other side of a nye's resolution list. So make your list, bless it, burn it, and allow all of what you write there to be OVER. Clear your mind, your heart, your emotion of it. Celebrate it's death. For, what will resurrect from the old will, magically, be brighter, and shinier than what was before.
I hope this helps, and have a HAPPY...HAPPY....Halloween.
Love Chiron
It's perfectly natural to feel sad right before or even during Halloween. Halloween is all about endings.
This portion of your life is at an end. That is what Halloween is really all about.
It is the end of the cycle of transformation into witch (pun intended, sexual in-u-end-oh! a byproduct of intended pun) (lol!) anyway, {how about?} THROUGH witch (the death and decay of the old hag is magically reborn as the young sexy vixen once again....who then fertilizes the seed of the new and cycle begins again.
If you find my reference to sex glaring, that is really because it's pretty much unavoidable here. Harvest and renewal. It is the way of Earth. It is WHY you cannot separate witches from sex, sex from old pagan rituals, and old pagan rituals from Earth's seasons.
We are meant to CELEBRATE death. Death isn't the stopping point, or the bookstop at the end of life, but rather, it marks the TRANSITION between one point in the cycle of transformation...and another. This makes DEATH....a vibrant part of what we experience as LIFE. It doesn't even have to be a physical death. It can mean then end of a way of thinking, or acting, or RE-acting as the case may be. Death represents FREEDOM from that which binds. Look at the imagery. Ghosts dragging chains....etc.
The Grim Reaper with the blade to sever the connection from what once was...allowing the spirit to be released and allowed to progress to something new.
It is symbolic and in line with both animal and vegetable lifeforce life cycles.
So if you find yourself feeling a bit bittersweet about everything right now...
my advice is to GO with it.
If you feel mellon-choly: go carve up a jack-o-lantern.
Write up a list of all that has been bothering you the last year.
(things that you wish to put to rest....as in R.I.P)
Then put that list into Jack and let it burn baby, let it burn. It's kind of like the other side of a nye's resolution list. So make your list, bless it, burn it, and allow all of what you write there to be OVER. Clear your mind, your heart, your emotion of it. Celebrate it's death. For, what will resurrect from the old will, magically, be brighter, and shinier than what was before.
I hope this helps, and have a HAPPY...HAPPY....Halloween.
Love Chiron
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Afraid of Love
Afraid of love.
Flashes…
of moments past.
Mental visual movie clips in my scrapbook of confused emotion, flicker, in front of my minds’ eye.
Simple exhaustion finally overcomes the defensive fear that has stood guard over a mending heart for years with the cold efficiency of an angry protective wolf.
Clenched knuckles, cold and white, from holding on too tight for too long, lose their grip and finally………release.
To my astounded confusion, I do not fall.
My world doesn’t fly apart.
The memories are powerful, the strength of their current, still, easily emotionally overwhelming.
But the concrete resolve of my new foundation…holds.
The fear that has kept me safe, sleeps soundly in my lap.
My hands and my heart begin to warm, as blood finally begins to return to them.
I choose a path, tentatively, stepping out into the world, determined…
Not to be afraid to love.
Flashes…
of moments past.
Mental visual movie clips in my scrapbook of confused emotion, flicker, in front of my minds’ eye.
Simple exhaustion finally overcomes the defensive fear that has stood guard over a mending heart for years with the cold efficiency of an angry protective wolf.
Clenched knuckles, cold and white, from holding on too tight for too long, lose their grip and finally………release.
To my astounded confusion, I do not fall.
My world doesn’t fly apart.
The memories are powerful, the strength of their current, still, easily emotionally overwhelming.
But the concrete resolve of my new foundation…holds.
The fear that has kept me safe, sleeps soundly in my lap.
My hands and my heart begin to warm, as blood finally begins to return to them.
I choose a path, tentatively, stepping out into the world, determined…
Not to be afraid to love.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Halloween's a Comin'!
Halloween's a comin'!
It's a time when the veil between the worlds grows the thinnest.
A time when dimensions merge.
A time when all that frightens you the most, comes.....unbeckoned.
A time when the dead remind us to cling tightly to our lives,
(no matter how bad they may seem)
for they will gladly exchange places with us...and remind us
to dare....to dream.
It's a time when the veil between the worlds grows the thinnest.
A time when dimensions merge.
A time when all that frightens you the most, comes.....unbeckoned.
A time when the dead remind us to cling tightly to our lives,
(no matter how bad they may seem)
for they will gladly exchange places with us...and remind us
to dare....to dream.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Hoist the Main Sail!
I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel like I have just been BLASTED through the last few months as if I were on a rail-car...reaching incredibly new levels of acceleration as I blaze through this portion of my life. Remarkably, I have a few minutes to catch my breath, but the onset of the phenomenon was so wholly unexpected as to leave me looking over my shoulder even during this apparent "rest period". I haven't managed to write too much, but I have managed to resurrect some of the old files from the previous batch, which will be forthcoming. Meanwhile I have picked up and reconnected with family members, old friends, undertaken more tasks, more responsibility (you'd think I'd learn) and positioned myself to spread myself even thinner than before! (Not to worry, I won't do it!) The theme of the day (other than Halloween is COMIN'!) is one of "simplify or DIE!". As I continue to whittle away the extraneous from what matters in my life I become slowly more empowered by what is left remaining. It is a constant struggle to make ends meet of course, and because I wasn't quite fully overloaded yet, I decided to REALLY push my skills and get a sailboat! LOL! (I really LOVE it but it hasn't seen the water yet) I have come to realize that in life there is a whole OTHER thing that we all have to do. Not ONLY do we need to manage what we already have ON our plate, but we are required to also plan a forward destination complete with an intersecting path TO that destination if we are to be successful in keeping ourselves happy. To that end I am making ready for next spring/summer now. (of course I must also make ready as best as I can for this immediate holiday season which now looms in the ever present)
So, I'm still trying to find a new home for my old truck, still hope to repair my cruiser, and have now added a 14' hobi-cat to the mix. I still haven't spent any serious time in the pursuit of love, but hopefully, my vacation from that whole thing will yield new perspective and perhaps options very soon. People, you can wear yourself out trying to find love. Sometimes it's just best to give it a rest.
(especially when you consider that the only time you can really improve yourself is outside of a relationship. It's just so much faster to work an internal change when you don't have to overcome external resistance to it in the form of a questioning partner)
So: to quickly recap: 1) I'm reducing. 2) I'm organizing. 3) I'm working on physical health. 4) I'm rebuilding, restructuring. 5) I'm making a plan for everything to reintegrate. 6) I'm attempting to plan for the future.
Change is in the wind people. Hoist the main sail and let it move you!
So, I'm still trying to find a new home for my old truck, still hope to repair my cruiser, and have now added a 14' hobi-cat to the mix. I still haven't spent any serious time in the pursuit of love, but hopefully, my vacation from that whole thing will yield new perspective and perhaps options very soon. People, you can wear yourself out trying to find love. Sometimes it's just best to give it a rest.
(especially when you consider that the only time you can really improve yourself is outside of a relationship. It's just so much faster to work an internal change when you don't have to overcome external resistance to it in the form of a questioning partner)
So: to quickly recap: 1) I'm reducing. 2) I'm organizing. 3) I'm working on physical health. 4) I'm rebuilding, restructuring. 5) I'm making a plan for everything to reintegrate. 6) I'm attempting to plan for the future.
Change is in the wind people. Hoist the main sail and let it move you!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Saluting a Warrior
Memories of Honor and Pain, Glory and Sacrifice. I Salute you and Thank you Gentlemen for what you have done. The quiet grace with which you wear your Honor is an inspiration. Thank you Capt. Huntley for bringing my papa back home.
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090806/ARTICLES/908069902/1350
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090806/ARTICLES/908069902/1350
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