Afraid of love.
Flashes…
of moments past.
Mental visual movie clips in my scrapbook of confused emotion, flicker, in front of my minds’ eye.
Simple exhaustion finally overcomes the defensive fear that has stood guard over a mending heart for years with the cold efficiency of an angry protective wolf.
Clenched knuckles, cold and white, from holding on too tight for too long, lose their grip and finally………release.
To my astounded confusion, I do not fall.
My world doesn’t fly apart.
The memories are powerful, the strength of their current, still, easily emotionally overwhelming.
But the concrete resolve of my new foundation…holds.
The fear that has kept me safe, sleeps soundly in my lap.
My hands and my heart begin to warm, as blood finally begins to return to them.
I choose a path, tentatively, stepping out into the world, determined…
Not to be afraid to love.
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