Well, here we are people, on the eve of 2010. I must say that it comes to me as I am fraught with trepidation. Everyone knows I tend to be a little sentimental, and for some reason NYE has always found me an emotional wreck as I try to process all of what has happened over the course of the old year, and try to get a handle on my (sometimes desperate) desires for the outcome of events in the new one. As I reflect on the highs and lows of the past year I am reminded that, at the very core of all of these experiences, it is me, myself, who controls the ups and downs I experience as a result of what has occurred. Difficult as it may be for me, to embrace the idea that I choose how I am affected by the external world, I must acknowledge it to be the ultimate truth. More difficult still is the concept that I have the ability to select my emotional state at any given moment. From the knee-jerk reaction I have when a beautiful woman enters my field of vision, to the concept of love at first sight, I must acknowledge that I am making a series of decisions at incredible speed which lead to my emotional responses.
Most difficult is the understanding of this information and the strange desire to quell it. To disown it. To object and tell myself that I cannot help but remain a complete slave to the ebb and flow of my emotional states. (Although, sometimes it remains a fact) It does appear to be the stumbling block upon which I trip in my attempt to get to that NEXT! level. Sometimes, I KNOW that it's true, but I just don't care to "mess with it". That would be the animal side of me trying to draw a line in the sand over which my intellect isn't supposed to exceed. So, I suppose it's about balance. Some aspects of my emotional condition I should let go. Some aspects I should attempt to control. Choosing which is which, well now, that's the trick isn't it?
When we can teach ourselves to reach out with open arms to whatever the Universe has on it's menu for NEXT!, it is ONLY THEN...that we are truly being OPEN. It is ONLY THEN, that we have relinquished control in our lives and made space IN our lives-FOR our lives, to unfold in front of us as intended. It is exceedingly difficult to do, and the way is fraught with illusion, (both internal and external) but once we achieve this level of commitment to live our lives unfettered by fear, doubt, stress, and negativity, only then are we living in the TRUE PRESENT. MOST of what goes on in our heads and hearts obscures the path we are intended to take because of our need to cling to outcomes. But the reality is, that it IS.....the TRUE PRESENT that is given to us. The present of choice. The present to turn left or right or up or down. The gift of experiencing our life without walking through it wearing a suit of armor. So let GO! Join me in putting your hands over your head like riding a roller-coaster and experience the high of living life without control! Live in the now. Accept the True Present! As my Spiritual mentor Charlie Shultz once told me back in my Air Force Days, "If you cannot make a mistake, you cannot MAKE.....ANYTHING!"
Happy New Year!!!!!
Love Chiron'
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