Constructive Deconstruction

A little bit of cooking for the holidays.

The New Year is coming around the corner, and with it comes all the anxiety that we create for ourselves regarding our personal progress in our lives. Let’s take a quick look at how we create ourselves and what ingredients are in the mix.

The real question that I have to ask myself is:

Who do I want to BE?
Each year we have the opportunity to break away from what has been (what WE…have been) and we have the capacity to re-invent ourselves. Reality is based upon our perception of it. Our view of the world is largely filtered by who we believe ourselves to be. It is shaped by the beliefs that we hold in regard to what we believe is possible for us, and also by that which we believe is outside of our reach. I’d like to focus on tossing MOST of that away. Start with a clean counter. Get out your cutting boards, and let’s just have a look at what we can make.

When I get to the point where I am conscious of a desire (or a need) to remake myself, it’s rather like working in the kitchen. Am I looking for a recipe book? Or do I feel confident enough in my own ability to create something wonderful from scratch? It’s actually best to start with the recipe that I have used to create myself from last year. It’s much easier to make small experimental shifts in my concoction than it is to daringly throw something together completely from scratch. After all, I DO NEED a good point of reference right?
When I am mixing values and traits, how much of the cookbooks baseline do I use for my creative endeavor? How much do I use from last year’s recipe? How much of the spice of my personal creativity do I use?
How much do I incorporate from the given of what others believe is true, (the acceptable norm) verses how willing am I to go out on a limb to create something in myself which is truly unique?
Once I decide to mix the proportions, it is EXTREMELY important that I follow through. Nothing will guarantee my unhappiness at a later date more than my creating a recipe for a character that I cannot or will not complete. I must remain mindful not to set my expectations for myself higher than my ability to stretch out to reach that goal. Equally, I must set my expectations for my personal growth high ENOUGH, to make a personal challenge of the endeavor, or I will not experience the growth I desire to have.

Baby steps.

So, let’s get a general idea of where we want to go for the rest of our lives, but most importantly, let’s keep it manageable and set our timer for simply the next year. (Because NEXT year, we will bake again!)
I can start with what I know I have already experienced. I can decide to add to my personal recipe things that I see needed an adjustment from last year. I can add new feelings I have as a result of last years’ growth to the mix, while removing some of the ingredients which didn’t quite work out. Things that took away from the finished product or aspects that didn’t add to its aesthetic appeal.
It is important for me to remember in this process that I can be WHOEVER I want to be. I can shock friends and relatives by throwing in a new spice, or I can add more of what I know that they already like. Whatever I decide, I must remember that I am not creating this recipe for them. I am creating it for myself. I am the one who must continue to be challenged. I am the one who I am creating for in the first place. This is my life. What do I want to experience? It is up to me to play in the kitchen with my recipe of who I am until I am satisfied. This is my most basic freedom. It is my most basic right. It is also…my most precious GIFT…to the Divine, to myself, to my loved ones, and to the world.

So….get your apron on and get busy!

Happy Holidays.