Accord-(ing) to Tina

I have been having a series of discussions with my old high school friend Tina Everett, and she posted this today. This is a reprinting with her permission.

Why So Lonely?

7:15 a.m.
Why do you feel empty? Like nobody understands you, or god has left you in the corner while everyone else is out to play? You look around at your life, and other people seem so happy, but you have no idea where you are going. It feels like nobody else really cares if you are hurting inside or not.

It's because you are only living half your life. You are going through the motions of daily life, reacting to The Physical, while your Spiritual side slowly atrophies. (Think of a Yin-Yang symbol where the white side is not round, but shrivelled up and dying.) First off, it's ugly, second thing you'll notice is that it is no longer balanced and doesn't work. A wheel needs to be round to turn.

Now don't feel bad; it's happening to a lot more people than you realize. In fact we all go through droughts from time to time. But you have to fix it if you want to be happy again. (And the way to be happy again is to fix that flat tire lol)

People everywhere, especially in modern times are pretty good with the physical side of their lives. We know we have to go to work/school, we know we have to pay those bills, meet those deadlines, honor those responsibilities. And then, to unwind physically, we have sports, hobbies, parties, etc.

But as the world gets more 'modern' or technologically savvy, we have started to mock the spiritual as 'old timey' or ignorant. Very religious people (of any religion) are looked upon with a sort of pity, like they are less intelligent. Some of the more devout ones are considered crackpots... (maybe those are ones who are letting the physical side die as they chase after their godliness, so they are unbalanced the other way.

How many people do you know who live their daily lives in the physical world, but save their religious beliefs for their Sabbath day only? Or who believe in interpreting dreams, healings, or tarot and stuff in the evenings when they're hanging out with certain friends, but forget all about that 'silly' stuff during the workday? *for any Christians who are objecting to 'mystical' references here, read your own bible for a change, it also believes in dream interpretation, fortune telling, mental healing, numerology, and miraculous physical manifestations, so lay off the other folks. Take the WHOLE bible as truth, or use it as cage-liner... if you really believe that Bible like you say, you cannot choose parts to cut out.

Why must you keep your real life separate from your religious life? That is what's killing you. That mental connection with the person you fell in love with has shriveled. The spiritual link that made you just KNOW something was wrong with someone you loved one day, and you coincidentally called them right when they needed it... same thing. Talking with god lately? or just sending "Bitch Lists" out when things don't go your way. (The connection to the Higher is a 2-way phone line, when are you gonna quit talking long enough to listen for a minute?)

Start listening to the air around you. Start trying to connect mentally, put yourself in someone's shoes and learn to care about them for a change. Start exploring your Spiritual beliefs, whatever they are. YOUR beliefs, in your heart, not what some guy in a suit tells you to believe. Eventually you will realize what you were missing and have balance in your life again. When you have finally reconnected to the rest of us, you will never be lonely again.

9 a.m.
Wow, that was quick...
Nothing like a religion-oriented blog to stir up some activity. In response to the emails & phone call I have already received:

1: No it is probably NOT better to look for Spiritual things only, and forget about the physical, even though that sounds really noble. You have responsibilities to take care of here. If you are ignoring the Physical side, either you are letting your body rot while you daydream and search for truth, or you are forcing someone else to handle the responsibilities that you should be taking care of. One way hurts yourself; the other way hurts someone else's spirit.

As for caller number 2: Pick a religion. All of them have threads of truth, and all of them have a lot more of it wrong. Remember the game in grade school where Kid A whispered something to Kid B, and then Kid B passed it on, and so forth? Remember how botched it always comes out? Now try that with several billion people over a few centuries... Just follow what Religion your parents gave you, or whichever you feel closest to.

And 3: No I am not claiming to have all the answers... If you feel that strongly about it, all I can say is don't read my blogs, but love me in spite of it.

Three Times

He was alone.

He could hear the wind sift through the trees outside his open windows.

Gentle breezes which seemed to be calling his attention.

Like soft.....breathing.

He felt himself unconsciously matching his breathing to the sound.

He felt the long heavy curls of his own hair moving on his neck as the breeze caressed him. He started when he realized he was feeling hair he had long since lost. “shhhhhhh” he heard in the highest registers of his hearing.

He knew this presence, and although he knew that he knew it, he couldn’t place it. Like the lazy curls of smoke from the candle, his memory yawned open in it’s search for recognition. But more importantly, he knew that this presence knew HIM.

He waited, afraid to move a muscle lest he should break the spell.

The firelight flickered shadows in the room around him. It was comforting, the crackle and pop of the fire jarred him into the awareness that he had lit no fire.

In the distance he heard a woman's soft murmur of laughter. It was the laugh of amused affection.

He stared into the fire and even his thoughts seemed to stand still.

He heard the tinkle of a spoon in a tea cup.

She always has tea, he thought, as the aroma of fine black tea reached his nose from the cup on the table before him.

He turned from the fire to the place setting across the table from him, as her eyes beckoned his attention into them.

There she was.

His heart threatened to explode from the intense emotions. Attraction, fear, enchantment, confusion, and recognition.

“Oh come now, after all this time this is how you show me how much you’ve missed me?”, she whispered in mock despair.

“I have absolutely no idea who ....or what..... this “woman” is.”, he thought.

“You know EXACTLY who I am”, she whispered. “But I’ll grant you that it has been a pretty good stretch of time.”

She sipped her tea and pulled her legs up into the chair with her. It was only then that he began to really look at her.

She had long flowing hair. It was red, no, brown, no? black with a purplish tint..

“Stop that!” she commanded. “You will see me as your hearts desire. You know how much I hate it when you cannot make up your mind. Close your eyes and feel me sitting here from your heart, once you have done that, then open your eyes.”

“I can’t do this, it’s confusing.” he said.

“Who ARE you? and what do you want with me?” he inquired.

“There is a part of you who knows who I am, and what I am here for. It has been a very long time. We have some time yet, as I have arrived early. I will come again soon and you will perhaps remember me then.
I’ve missed you little one”

He opened his eyes in panic “no wait!” he gasped.

But he was alone.